Women!

So I read this article in New York Magazine about an "extreme midwife" who practices in New York Cityhttp://nymag.com/news/features/55500/. She assists women in their desire to give birth at home, which, is a wonderful thing to do if that is what the women choose to do. Me, I'd rather give birth in a hospital. My personal choice. However, this midwife was presented in the article as being rather exreme in her practices and pooh poohs women who go to OB/GYNs and trust the team of doctors and nurses to deliver the baby safely. Whether this is true or not the reader will never know. Women who have had homebirths appear to look down on hospital births. Personal choice!

Long story short, this article got me thinking about the war among women. We can't live without our women friends but women are also our worst enemies! There is always a competition between women. Who has the better job, better outfit, better apartment, etc. And among mothers: forget it. I can't stand this war among mothers! It starts with pregnancy and never ends. There is this extreme competition for having the best pregnancy, the best labor and delivery, the best way to feed their baby, the best stroller, best parenting skills, even the best baby! And the list goes on.

I had an epidural during both labors and I am not ashamed of it. I did not breastfeed my girls and I am not going to made to feel like a failure because of that either. There are so many women who feel the need to make themselves appear better than you are because you didn't have a natural birth or because you chose not to breastfeed your baby. So you made it through all the hours of your labor without the use of drugs? Fantastic! That is really awesome. Honestly, I did not want an epidural the second time. But there was a complication early in my labor that could have resulted in an emergency C-section and I would have been knocked out cold for the delivery. Thankfully, this did not happen but in case it happened again ,they wanted to be prepared. So, in came the drugs. So you make your family homemade meals 7 nights a week with ingredients farmed in your own backyard? Wonderful!! Just don't look down your nose at me because I don't.

Why do we have to compete with each other? What are we trying to prove to each other? I really don't get it. I encounter mothers at my daughter's preschool who completely ignore me if I say hello to them in the morning. First of all, when someone addresses you, you should be courteous and respond to them. How hard is it to say hello? Secondly, you are no better or worse than me. We all have children, which is why we are at a preschool. I am a mom, you are a mom. You don't know anything about me, nor do I know anything about you. Why is there this constant judgement among women. Here we are, the middle of April, and there are mothers who look away so they don't have to speak to me! Give me a break. Just say "hi" or "good morning." It isn't going to kill you to talk to someone you don't know.

Women have it hard enough in this world. Some have it much, much harder than others. We should all stand by each other.