RSVP and send a Thank You!

With all the birthday party invitations my daughter has received lately it is hard to keep track of all the parties she is attending. So, when I get the invite, I check the calendar and write it down and I RSVP immediately. Or within the next 2 days. Especially if the parent is hosting the party at one of those party venues. They absolutely need a final headcount by party time.
We hosted my daughter's 5th birthday party at the local bowling alley. She invited a bunch of kids from her class including the little girl whose party she attended very recently. This girl's mother never called or emailed me to let me know if they were attending. Nor did 2 others from her class. And, I see one boy's dad at drop off all the time. He never apologized for never RSVPing to Allie's party! What is so hard about that? i even included my email on the invite. How hard is it to write a one sentence message? I guess it is really hard. But you know what? It is really rude to not RSVP to a party!
Which brings me to my second point. This same mother who did not have the decency to call also did not send a thank you note for her daughter's birthday gift. Shouldn't we be teaching our children to be gracious, kind children? Within the week, I had written 25 thank you notes and Allie signed them and then we mailed them. In the age of cell phones, Blackberrys, and computers, people have forgotten the power of the written note. No matter what the occasion, I always write a note, thanking the gift giver and letting them know how much I appreciate their generosity. If anything, people still like to get mail the old fashioned way. I find myself looking forward to the time of day when I walk down to the mailbox to see if anyone thought of me recently!
We have a friend who recently had a baby. I loaned the mom my old maternity clothes and I also sent them a huge bag of baby clothes that my girls have outgrown. In all this time, neither mom or dad called, wrote, or sent a smoke signal saying thanks for the clothes, it was a big help. Is it really that hard to show some appreciation? Sometimes i find myself thanking soomeone too much! My very best friends took me out to a really nice dinner for my birthday. I was truly touched by their generosity and I did not want them to spend so much money on me. But, after I shut down this computer, I am going to get out some pretty notecards and write them a note.

Too much information

OK, so everyone i know is on Facebook. I joined the party late but it has been fun. I am in touch with people I have not spoken to in 15 years. It has been great fun seeing the kids I graduated high school with turn into parents or have awesome careers or both! Some people still look the same and others I would not recognize even if I tripped over them on the street.
But there is one thing about Facebook that is really starting to annoy me. You know the status part of your profile? Some people just share way too much. Or tell me the most ridiculous things. One of my Facebook "friends" updated her status to read that she was 1 centimeter dilated and she was going to the hospital to be induced for labor. Like I really need to know this? I mean, it is very exciting that she is going to have a baby but is it really necessary to 1)update your Facebook status at this time and 2)let your 125 "friends" know about how much your cervix is dilated? PLEASE! Another "friend" was updating his status as his wife was in labor. I know there can be time to kill but come on already. Have we really reached a point in today's society that people can't turn off the computer or Blackberry and forget about Facebook to enjoy and focus on the impending delivery of your child?
Quite frequently there are people who do have something interesting to share. I have been known to write stupid stuff in my staus box. Now, if I don't have anything interesting to say, i just leave it blank. I really don't think my "friends" need to know that I am currently making dinner. But I am not really, am I? I am updating my Facebook status or writing in this blog.
And yes, blogging is another way to share a lot of information. Anyone you know or even don't know can tune into whatever you are doing on a daily, hourly or minute by minute basis. Why do we feel the need to share absolutely everything about our lives? I talk to my friends pretty regularly but they still don't know everything. I have a friend who emails pictures and updates about what her kids are doing everyday. What they did over the weekend. What they did last night. It is great to share news about your kids. I love to know what is new and exciting. But I don't feel the need to share every last detail with everyone in my address book.
The Internet has opened many doors and windows into people's lives. And we just can't help ourselves but to share with the rest of the world. Some share more than others. And for those of you that really need to share the explicit details... send an email.

Women!

So I read this article in New York Magazine about an "extreme midwife" who practices in New York Cityhttp://nymag.com/news/features/55500/. She assists women in their desire to give birth at home, which, is a wonderful thing to do if that is what the women choose to do. Me, I'd rather give birth in a hospital. My personal choice. However, this midwife was presented in the article as being rather exreme in her practices and pooh poohs women who go to OB/GYNs and trust the team of doctors and nurses to deliver the baby safely. Whether this is true or not the reader will never know. Women who have had homebirths appear to look down on hospital births. Personal choice!

Long story short, this article got me thinking about the war among women. We can't live without our women friends but women are also our worst enemies! There is always a competition between women. Who has the better job, better outfit, better apartment, etc. And among mothers: forget it. I can't stand this war among mothers! It starts with pregnancy and never ends. There is this extreme competition for having the best pregnancy, the best labor and delivery, the best way to feed their baby, the best stroller, best parenting skills, even the best baby! And the list goes on.

I had an epidural during both labors and I am not ashamed of it. I did not breastfeed my girls and I am not going to made to feel like a failure because of that either. There are so many women who feel the need to make themselves appear better than you are because you didn't have a natural birth or because you chose not to breastfeed your baby. So you made it through all the hours of your labor without the use of drugs? Fantastic! That is really awesome. Honestly, I did not want an epidural the second time. But there was a complication early in my labor that could have resulted in an emergency C-section and I would have been knocked out cold for the delivery. Thankfully, this did not happen but in case it happened again ,they wanted to be prepared. So, in came the drugs. So you make your family homemade meals 7 nights a week with ingredients farmed in your own backyard? Wonderful!! Just don't look down your nose at me because I don't.

Why do we have to compete with each other? What are we trying to prove to each other? I really don't get it. I encounter mothers at my daughter's preschool who completely ignore me if I say hello to them in the morning. First of all, when someone addresses you, you should be courteous and respond to them. How hard is it to say hello? Secondly, you are no better or worse than me. We all have children, which is why we are at a preschool. I am a mom, you are a mom. You don't know anything about me, nor do I know anything about you. Why is there this constant judgement among women. Here we are, the middle of April, and there are mothers who look away so they don't have to speak to me! Give me a break. Just say "hi" or "good morning." It isn't going to kill you to talk to someone you don't know.

Women have it hard enough in this world. Some have it much, much harder than others. We should all stand by each other.

Don't park there

I know I haven't posted in 5 months. I couldn't find the time to remember all the rude things that happened. And withg the holidays... well, let's just say that there were rude people all over the place. I was even one of them. I hated the holidays this year. I was awful. I was in a bad mood from Thanksgiving to New Years. But all that is behind me. It is spring. A time of new beginnings. Which I why I changed the name of this blog. Instead of writing about rude things. I want to share all of the unbelieveble things that I encounter. I just can't get over what some people do or say. Some things I experience firsthand, others I read about or watch on TV.

My older daughter goes to a preschool that is part of a church and that church is part of a retirement community and a nursing home. As you can imagine there are quite a few handicapped designated parking spaces in the parking lot.

School begins at 9AM. As you can also imagine, it can get pretty crazy at drop off time. Pick up time is not as rushed since a parent or caregiver can pick up the child anywhere between 12-1. At both drop off and pick up, people park in the handicapped spaces! Now, as far as I know, you can only park in one of those spaces if you have the correct ID on your license plate or if you have a tag hanging from the rearview mirror. There are moms with neither of those, who are in perfectly good health parking in a handicapped spot because it is convenient for them. Everyday, at pick up, there is a grandma who parks in the same handicapped spot. No license plate and no hang tag. EVER! I am completely offended that she would park in that spot AT A NURSING/ RETIREMENT HOME! Really now!

The same goes for people who park in the no parking zones in front of stores. Is it really that hard to park your car and walk? Even if it is just for a few minutes. I have 2 kids and believe me, I hate getting them out of the car, corraling the 5 year old so she doesn't run into the parking lot and hoisting all my bags and everything else and walking to the store because there wasn't a spot right there in front of the door. But a law is a law. They put those signs there for a reason. NO PARKING FIRE ZONE means don't park there! You are not excluded because you drive a fancy Mercedes or BMW. Park the damn car and walk! It's good for you anyway.

Hold the Door!

Did you ever notice that people are in their own world when you are going in and out of buildings? We are so preoccupied with our lives that we don't even notice if there is someone right behind us or next to us.

It used to be that men held the door open for women, let women pass through first, especially if women had children in tow. The same is true for older people. It is respectful and polite to hold the door open for dear old granny. However, do you see that same granny holding the door open for anyone else? Hardly ever! And lately, if a woman is pushing a stroller, she can just forget it. More often than not, that person entering Macy's in front of you will let the door swing shut as you struggle to hold the door, push the stroller, and shepherd your 4 year old through the door. Is it really going to take time out your day to stop for 30 seconds and be courteous? Whenever someone holds the door for me, I thank them 2 or 3 times, making it seem like it was not necessary to hold the door. But you know, it really is necessary. Wouldn't you want the same done for you, or your mother, or your daughter?

And just the opposite, when you are leaving the store, the people coming out have the right of way! Let them exit before you barrel through. Hold the door for them! And they will do the same for you. this can be more of proper etiquette but it is just downright rude when you push in front of someone trying to exit the building. And it may be a mom with 2 kids and a stroller trying to get out. HOLD THE DOOR!

And men, just because we are in the 21st century and women are very independent and demand equality, you can still hold the door for them. It is the polite thing to do. Your granny would be proud!

I Do Not Like Rude People

Everyday, I encounter at least one rude person. I believe that rudeness is a major epidemic in our country. How difficult is it to be considerate of the person standing next to you, or the woman ringing up your purchases in the store?

This blog is going to chronicle all the rudeness I encounter while I am out around town. Sometimes the things that occur will be quite unbelieveable!

Let me give some background: I am a stay at home mom of two girls, ages 4 1/2 and 4 months. Before my first daughter was born in 2004, I worked in the retail industry for 7 years. During those 7 years I encountered many, many rude people. I started out as a sales associate, whom customers thought they could verbally abuse; thinking that just because i worked in a department store, I was an unintelligent person who had no feelings. Whenever there was an incident I could just pass the customer off to a manager and go about my business. Then I became a manger and then people really thought they could belittle me; after all, I was only a manager in a department store. of course, when someone is in your face yelling at you because they forgot to bring their coupon, it is very easy to yell back and be a smartass. But, in the end, I would have to compose myself and remember my job and "the customer is always right."
Now, I am a customer and I always feel sympathy for the sales associate who is being screamed at for no good reason. And yes, sometimes I do get frustrated and I am not the politest person. I, too have been rude to others. And it needs to stop. Just because you do not know the other person it does not give you permission to be rude to them.

Let me tell you about the rude woman I encountered at Bed, Bath and Beyond this afternoon.
If you have ever shopped there, you know how tight the aisles are and that there is very little space to fit a shopping cart. I was in line to pay for my purchases. My baby, Erica, was in her carseat on the top of the cart and my older daughter, Allie was standing next to me. I moved around the cart to unpack my cart and the woman in line behind me was standing extremely close to Erica. I didn't mind it that much but I really didn't think it was necessary for her to be THAT close. So I moved the cart and stood between them. She put her purchases on the counter(which aren't very big at BB&B) and they got mixed in with my things. Then, this woman was standing so close to me she could have been hugging me. She was in a hurry and I suppose she thought if she pushed her way forward, the cashier would move faster.
Now I have a really big problem with strangers invading my personal space. There is no reason for you to be right on top of me! So in my frustrastion I said, "can you please back it up a little?" I admit it was not the nicest way to say it(I told you, I am guilty of rudeness too!). Well... the woman started yelling at me! She said, "what do you want, the whole store?" and "You should not leave your house of you act like that." I told her that she could leave me some personal space. She then told me " I am standing in line too." which of course was very obvious. The clincher? She put her hand in my face. Yep, that's right! A woman who was clearly a senior citizen, gave me the Talk to the Hand! I was so stunned, I was rendered speechless.

So the next time you are standing in line at the store, make sure you are giving the person in front of you some space. It isn't nice to be so close to someone you don't know. Also, you are not the only one in the store. You have to wait in line like everyone else.